Step 1 here

Simple – Effective – But Not Fast

1.  No contact (call, SMS, video chat)

2 . Do not text through FB or any other social network.

3 . Do not hold out hope to see your ex again

4 . Do not go with mutual friends in the hope of meeting.

5 . Do not pretend to meet your ex by chance somewhere.

6 . Do not try to hang around in front of their home, work, study, or your ex-frequented areas.

7 . Do not maintain images, FB, or online media that make you see or remember ex.

8 . Do not talk about your ex through friends and family.

Wait, if you ask me not to contact her, how do I get my ex back, she will run to someone else if we break up.

Ok, I will tell you the main reason right here!

There are 2 main reasons for you to stop communicating with your ex.

1. Your ex needs time
2. You need time

#1 Your ex needs time to get rid of negative things about you.

This is quite important, as your ex was the one who made the breakup and offered to break up regardless of whether you agree or not. Right now, your ex is having a very deep negative obsession with you, and they think it can’t be fixed no matter what.

Sadly, this is the correct way of thinking. Because in long-term love, the negative side that happens is also your nature (which nature is very difficult to change), if being in love for less than 6 months gives you the belief that your love is perfect and wonderful, then over 6 months your display of “imperfect” qualities will make your image worse in the ex’s eyes.

Using a measure of 100 points is a milestone and 50 is a milestone when you start falling in love. So, in the first 6 months, your task is to score as many points as possible.

Ideally, you will get to 100 points perfectly. Then in that process, you reveal bad things, defects such as “no goal”, “dependent living”, “dirty”, and “promiscuous” and each minus you a certain number of 10 points. So, what happened?

If the defect is revealed and the deduction is terrible, you are still over 50 VND, above the level of love, Great. You two will be fine and get married even though you’re not perfect.

But that’s when you score 100 points, so what happens after the first 6 months that you only get 51 -60 points? You probably don’t need me to tell you where your results go.

Of course, the measure of scores and the number of plus or minus points for each person in the eyes of the other will be different, but in general, you need to understand the process in order to move forward and score points.

People make the extremely common mistake that when you don’t contact the ex, they will forget you right away.

But no, if you let your ex have free time, without seeing you, you’re actually giving your ex loads of thoughts about you. Do you feel that what I am asking you to do is quite like what your ex does?

They don’t see you >> you miss them like crazy.

You don’t meet them >> You make your ex remember you.

Yes, this is how No Contact works.

At first glance, it may seem like I’m asking you to DO NOTHING, but actually resisting the urge to come to your ex is already a huge thing you do for them. You give them time, which also means you give yourself a huge opportunity for them to remember you. In addition, time is also an important ally to make the negative points about you fade away. Just like when you just broke up with your ex, you’ll think of them as “the perfect half” (although it’s not) you think of everything as rosy about them.

That’s it, have you understood the working mechanism of the No Contact Rule?

#2. You need time for yourself

Yes, right now you are surrounded by the “5 emotional states of being rejected”. This will cause you to misbehave and repeat one mistake after another.

So right now, you need time to get right about what you’re thinking, at least not while you’re panicking.

You also need time to prove that: “You can move on without him/her by your side”.

After a while, you also need to understand that you will not die or not live whether you are with your ex or not.

You also need time to break the habit of having him/her around.

And of course, to get back to her/him, you also need to show that you now (when you remove the no-contact campaign) are better, more confident, and more attractive than before. This is also the most important thing that the whole article is about. After all, how many people will be able to get through this process, or then look back and tell themselves that they didn’t love that person as they thought they did…

Frequently Asked Questions When Running a No-Contact Campaign

Question 1: How long do I need to do no contact?

There is no specific time frame, this can take 1 month, 2 months, or even a year. This is up to each person, but here are a few suggestions:

• You must make sure you’re ready when you come back
• At least 30 days
• The ideal is the 45–60-day zone

So, if it’s less than 30 days, it would be useless. There are people who need a large amount of time to erase everything negative. Some people need time to feel other things in life. However, that is only true when you disappear for more than 30 days.

Question 2: What if my ex has a new lover while the no-contact?

This is a question I get a lot from you guys; ok I’ll say it right now.

The fact that your ex has new people is not necessarily a bad thing.

Why? Because it is very, very difficult for a person to fall in love with someone without going through certain emotional stages (physical attraction, mental attraction, making connections, and accepting flaws). So, your ex has a new lover can be a good thing for both of you. It gives your ex a more intuitive view and comparison between new and old loves. And the good news is that old love always wins as long as you do the right thing.

If after breaking up with you within the last 1 month, your ex is immediately in someone else’s arms, this is called a recovery relationship.

Love is based on a previous loss and is connected by the person being unable to bear the emptiness or loneliness in their heart. They immediately find another relationship to fill the hole in themselves. It always ends up falling apart quickly when everything is built on a fragile, fragile foundation

So that doesn’t mean that a recovery relationship is bad, but if you do it wrong, you may give it the strength to turn that love into commitment-based love. And will make you lose more and more points.

So, what is my right action at this time?

Remember, you are in the no-contact campaign phase, and that is your right course of action. So now you need to believe and commit to it because I understand it better than anyone. Hearing that your ex loves someone else can make you breathless, heartbroken, and desperate.

Reality will also be a slap in the face right now

The fact that your ex has a new person is like they are in love with you, which means you will understand, if they do something to you when you are in love, then with this restored love, they will do it easily. It’s easier than it is with you because that’s when they are at their weakest and need something to make them think differently.

So that means:

It will be easier for them to hold new people’s hands with you.

They will kiss new people easier when they kiss you.

It will be easier for them to make love to someone new than to make love to you.

And sadly, you can’t control those things.

You can’t control whom your ex wants to sleep with, whom they want to kiss, or even marry someone else.

So, I will always ask you questions, and you should ask yourself this all the time too. “Does your ex deserve the love you give them?”

Question 3: Should I tell my ex that I’m going to not contact him/ her?

Absolutely not. You know, what you do is make them curious and remember you, so telling them is like sabotaging the whole process yourself. They will accept your request and think you still love them. They won’t really lose you knowing that you’ll still be waiting for them to come back.

However, I will also have to say that you also need to tell them that you will not contact them when you make the mistakes in Step 1:

It means that when you break up, you’ve built up an extremely negative image by making the mistakes I mentioned above. You cling, and terrorize by texting, and calling ex hundreds of times. So, the last thing you can do right now is to put 1 message and reset everything to the way it was. This message is meant to put an end to everything and it’s up to you how its content is implemented but will have the following gist:

The message contains no emotions.

Show that you accept the breakup.

Express you will stop contacting and there is no deadline for it.

Example: Hello, I’ve been thinking about it for the past few days, I feel like you and I need some alone time, I know that the past few days I have behaved differently than me, but now I have calmed down. many already. So, I accept, we should not be in contact at this time. Thank you for your time.

Then suddenly your ex texted back? What should I do?

Do nothing, do you see the content of the message? You will NOT CONTACT even if your ex suddenly says they want to come back.

Do you think your relationship will be stronger when this happens? The fact that your ex manipulates your thoughts and makes you change your mind. But if your ex terrorizes you and tries to contact you (answer as politely and as short as possible and necessary, block it). This is contrary to what you think, but it is essential for you to keep your ex forever and build relationships based on lasting commitment, not flimsy and superficial.

Question 4: What if EX contacted me again?

Ok, isn’t that what you want? But wait, as I said above, I’m teaching you to ‘build relationships based on strong commitment, not flimsy and superficial. So, your ex contacting you only reflects that they feel really losing you, they can’t stand the feeling of lack and let their emotions overwhelm them, but on the surface, they will still only rely on statements. Speak or ask neutral questions to approach you. They are afraid of losing you, but on the other hand, they don’t want their actions to bring their value down, they don’t want you to incur misunderstandings, and if you answer them, you provide instant gratification at that time. Your ex will feel like they’re still and are having you at any time.

So, the answer is no, and if EX is terrorizing you by texting or calling, you should answer them as politely and briefly as possible. Let them know, the risk of losing you is greater than ever.

Question 5: What if we still work together (living together, meeting through school) every day?

This is a question that, if answered, will leave you breathless. If cutting off, contact with EX is just an action on your part and it has a difficulty of 5/10 points. So, whether you are sharing a job or school, and having to meet your ex every day, it’s as difficult as 10/10.

Images of your ex, catch your eye every day. The two met and didn’t say anything. 2 people face each other all the time and sometimes must talk to each other.

At this point, your job is to keep the faith, you need to let your ex know that you need space and time, so limit your encounters as much as possible. In addition, if both of you must talk about a certain issue, it is essential to answer quickly and to the point. No mention of love, feelings, judgment, or health inquiries. Remember how you talk to a stranger and apply it to your ex. The no-contact time now needs to increase higher than normal.

Question 6: What does my ex do when I apply for no-contact?

Do nothing.

Yes, but it does not matter what your ex is doing right now. The time when you run the campaign is the time for you to rebuild your trust, improve yourself and develop new thinking abilities, having an open mind of love is a priority at this time.

However, from my experience, you do not like this answer. So, I will say what your ex will do when you do the no-contact.

• They’ll miss you *this is pretty sure*
• They will follow you on social media like FB, Instagram, etc.
• They’ll think about what you’re doing right now (which is funny to me), but there aren’t many moments like that.
• Better yet, they may even start contacting you through friends and family indirectly.
• They may also contact you directly (accidentally or intentionally but just to probe your thoughts).
• They will still think about you, however, they will find something else to dominate their thoughts about you (relationships, love, friends, work, travel, etc.).
• Worst of all, they will get angry and blame you for your not wanting to hold onto their love and make you rush to run to them.

That’s it, all that could happen for you to imagine what I’ve listed above, and with the ex’s actions a bit like yours, I’d suggest it’s best to stand your ground and self-belief. Something I’ve always said repeatedly from the very beginning. You will implement the no-contact rule until you are ready.