Each person will have different reactions when faced with a breakup in love. Anxiety and pain are perfectly normal reactions. What’s different is how you deal with the pain. What you now consider a failure may be slowly turning into a rewarding experience.

Letting go of the person you love and seeing is all is hard, but happiness wanted to fly away, how could hands hold, the more you hold it, the more it hurts, accept losing each other, and the pain will go away. In love, it’s probably hard to avoid the fact that two people can’t look at the same side. It’s normal to come to a breakup decision, but can any of us be at peace at that moment? Pain and crying are our bodies way of responding to them. The difference is that you know how to get over that pain

1. Reasons for breaking up

Of course, no one wants their relationships to come and go quickly. Finding out the reasons for breaking up as well as the reasons for failure in past relationships will help you a lot in the process of getting to know your new partner. Have you ever tried to sit down and thoroughly analyze the reasons why your love life is not going well?

For some couples, the cause of the breakup may be due to events: relocation, job loss, illness, infidelity, personal problems, etc. In other couples, the cause may be due to difficulty, and dissatisfaction in the relationship: fear of commitment, lack of shared joy, lack of emotional support, physical or emotional violence, etc.

2. Breakup overcoming stages

Whatever the cause, the pain of a broken relationship is inevitable. We can go through many stages of shock, denial, and isolation, followed by a period of recognition and pain, and ending with adaptation and renewal.

Understanding these stages will help you get over a breakup and other losses more easily.

2.1. Shock

“I couldn’t imagine that she had given up on me. This is like a dream.”

In the early days of a breakup, you feel depressed and confused. This is the time when you need someone to support you emotionally. You should avoid making important decisions during this time such as moving house, changing jobs, etc.

2.2. Denial and isolation

“I know he’ll be back.” “This is impossible! He will realize he was wrong.”

Once the shock has passed, you don’t have to be ready to face this reality right away. You often keep a belief that you will get your ex back by all means. But this is normal when you break up while still having feelings. Denial often happens unconsciously. However, you need to watch out for the following signs: loss of energy, lack of appetite, lack of sleep or too much sleep, expecting him/her to return, anger, etc.

Sometimes, feelings of shame can arise, and you tend to isolate yourself so that people don’t know how stressed you are. All these reactions are normal after a breakdown.

2.3. Admit and hurt

“It’s a tough one, I still feel hurt, but I think I’ll get over it.”

This is usually the longest and most painful stage. Breaking up is heartbreaking because you realize that you have not only lost a lover but also a habit in your life. However, recognizing this loss is necessary to regain balance. You may need support from friends, family, or professional help.

2.4. Adapt and change

“Everything is fine. In the end, I learned from this experience, and I was able to overcome other pains.”

When you replace “why” questions (why she left me) with “how/how” questions (how I can learn from this experience). This means that you have begun to heal yourself, your life is not just about this broken love. This is the perfect time to start new projects such as taking a trip, joining a social activity or a course, and maybe you will have a good new relationship.

 To get rid of the pain of a breakup, you will have to change some habits to have new experiences. Some people after a breakup will try to refuse a new relationship or have a series of relationships to avoid suffering. However, this is not good in the long run and cannot satisfy the need to be loved.

3. Overcoming the pain of broken love

After going through an emotional shock, you may feel sad, angry, or even feel like the world around you is falling apart. In such a case, find a way to get over the agony and move forward.

Telling myself I’ll be fine

Loss is a part of life and sadness makes you strong. Therefore, there is no reason to be forever immersed in suffering and then lose the love of life. Think of it as a cherished emotional experience to help you grow.

Make yourself comfortable

Find solace in things that make you comfortable, like listening to music, cooking, or traveling. It is the small hobbies that can help you forget the pain of the breakup and look to the future.

Change your perspective

Anything has its pros and cons. Therefore, after you have calmed down, you should look at things objectively and logically. Find out why bad things happen and learn from them for later. In this way, you can avoid suffering in later relationships and can get over the breakup quickly.

Be with friends

In times of pain, friends are great comforters. With them, you can relieve all the sadness and sorrow in your heart. Not only that, being with someone who is willing to listen and share also makes you happy and less lonely.

Confident

After a shock, people often feel self-conscious about themselves, but that’s not the case. In fact, you can be ugly in one person’s eyes and great in another’s. Finally, restart your life again because you deserve more.

Going through the above stages, you will really get over the breakup. Remember, these are stages that everyone will go through after a breakup.