Family life is only sustainable when both know how to balance love for the other and for themselves. The following principles help everyone maintain, preserve and build a happy family.

1. Before getting married, you should know each other’s “family background”

sustainable, long-lasting marriages rely on the love between two people and heavily on families background of both parties. It is not only a measure of economic and intellectual capacity but also to find out if the other family gives them the ability to love” to accompany them to the end of the road.

Why do we mention this? This is because people living in different circumstances will have different worldviews. If the distance is large, no matter how much they love each other, in the end, there will be many conflicts in real life. “If you want to see each other in everyday trivial matters, you must choose people with similar values ​​to you.”

2. Working hard to make money

Although money is not a panacea, money can solve many obstacles in life.

Without money, your children will not be able to eat well, sleep well, and study well. Without money, a sudden illness can bring the whole family down. If there is no money, basic needs for daily living such as rice, oil, and salt must also be frugal. Therefore, no matter who you marry, always remember that working hard for money is something that must never be given up.

3. Acknowledge the other person’s contribution

Last year, a mother in the Chinese city of Nanning jumped from a building with her two children after leaving a suicide note. The last words in the letter express the extreme despair of a woman with her marriage. “I have to do many things every day, but my husband never sees my wife’s contribution. He thinks what I do is no big deal, often denies and criticizes me,” the woman wrote.

Being understood is the safest feeling in a marriage. That’s when the wife sees her husband’s devotion and the man realizes his wife’s hard work. Marriage requires a wife to be considerate of her husband’s pressures and feelings, and not cause unreasonable trouble. It also requires the husband to respect his wife’s contribution, share the housework as much as possible, and pay more attention to her.

4. Caring for each other, romance is essential in marriage

Romance is when you know what to do for your partner, what makes her/him happy, and do these things often to add sweetness to the relationship.

To sustain a married life, cooperation and commitment between husband and wife are required. For couples imbued with this, nothing is difficult. Once you decide to use romance to strengthen your marriage, as an effective “weapon,” you’ve shown that you care about your partner and your marriage. This small act will make your marriage stronger and longer lasting.

Romance is very important in love. We all feel the need to have someone by our side and want to do many meaningful things for the person we love. Romance is a language in which we express our desires.

So, once you have established a bond with your loved one, it is necessary to renew the relationship with romance. On the contrary, the connection will be broken when you do not do that.

5. Don’t try to change your spouse

Excessive expectations of others are a source of suffering. Trying to change another person, may end up wasting too much time and energy. Japanese writer Junichi Watanabe once told a story, there was a man with a careful temper, every time he took out toothpaste, he gently squeezed it little by little and never took it too much. But his newlywed wife is the kind of person, every time she brushes her teeth, the cream is scattered all over the sink. Every morning, this man had to clean up for his wife and then blamed and asked her to be as careful as he was. Consecutive quarrels occurred and they divorced after only half a year of living together.

Everyone’s lifestyle is different. Don’t force your partner to live up to your own standards. The French philosopher Montaigne once said that a good marriage must have a blind wife and a deaf husband. This means that in married life, by not paying too much attention to each other’s words and deeds, tolerating each other’s minor shortcomings, and not imposing their lifestyle on the other, the marriage will be durable.

 6. Regularly communicate, warm up your love

No matter how tired or busy you are, a husband and wife should take time before going to bed to tell each other what happened today at work, how the children are, and whether there is any joy or not. Sometimes, it’s just very trivial stories, but that habit will make the couple’s feelings closer and understand each other better.

Marriage is not about one person. Whether male or female, everyone wants to be loved, no one wants to “turn” themselves into an oasis. If couples usually communicate with a constructive attitude and express their concern about the other’s life, the marriage will be sustainable. And if living together under the same roof, but the husband and wife lose the motivation to communicate, the home is as cold as an ice cellar, and such a marriage is difficult to maintain.